Outbursts of anger, irritation, hysteria, emotional meltdown at work can turn into serious problems with colleagues and superiors. Tips from psychologists help you learn to manage your emotions.
In the department where you work, there is a regular meeting. Employees speak one after another, with a serious look overflowing from nothing to nothing. Almost everyone wants to demonstrate their importance. Meanwhile, the time is passing, the work is going on, and there is no end or end to the chattering. You become nervous, irritated and, in the end, can not stand it – splash out accumulated emotions at others, and a few minutes later already regret it: the emotional outburst turned into serious problems with colleagues and superiors. Are you familiar with this situation? But how do you learn to control your feelings?
Looking for the roots of the problem in childhood
People who are irritated by the boring prolonged meetings or conferences, but who have to attend such events as part of their duties, involuntarily begins to experience constantly increasing internal tension. As noted by psychologists, this is often due to the fact that in such situations, people subconsciously have unpleasant associations and painful memories.
In particular, people traumatized in childhood are often at the mercy of negative emotions. For example, those whose parents were too strict, constantly demanded perfectionism in learning and prohibited to play with peers in the yard ball, in adulthood are often subject to feelings such as anger, helplessness, fear, sadness. People-neurotic just freeze in front of bosses, whom they associate with strict parents or school teachers who can humiliate a failing student in front of the whole class – they cannot express their thoughts clearly in their presence, begin to mumble, forget about self-esteem.
The most important role in the regulation of basic human emotions is played by the amygdala, two small almond-shaped bodies located within each of the cerebral hemispheres. Their functions influence our mood and feelings, as well as contribute to the associative memory of the events that happened to us before. At certain “explosive” moments, these functions are activated so dramatically that the situation can get out of control. The result – emotional breakdowns, inadequate behavior, depression, conflicts on the principle of “make a big deal out of nothing.
Analyze what is happening to you
There are various strategies to prevent such outbreaks. For example, as soon as you feel that you are at the limit of their feelings and are about to lose control over yourself, try to calmly and soberly characterize what is happening to you at the moment.
For example, say to yourself: “I think I’m starting to get angry. But since the successful completion of this project is so important to me, I won’t let my emotions get the better of me and get worked up over little things. Instead, I would rather draw my colleagues’ attention to two aspects that I feel are important. If you have mentally labeled your feelings, it will be easier for you to manage them. After you’ve done that, briefly put on paper what you want to say, ask for words and calmly, without nerves, present your ideas to your colleagues about the project.
In case you are overexcited and don’t want to say anything, use one of the following techniques.
Go home in your mind, because, as a rule, that’s where a person feels especially safe. But first, with a right thumb, press sharply on the point between the index finger and the left thumb. A sharp pain will occur. Then switch your thoughts, relax, and imagine that you’ve come home. Open the door, take off your shoes, take off your jacket. Go into the hallway, and then into the living room. Sit down in your favorite chair and listen to music. This meditation is very relaxing and calming.
Or the following variant: mentally represent the stop sign of the road – and with the use of paint of the color that you especially like. Now make a stop sign to make different sounds and movements. For example, let him, whistling or singing a funny song, bounce on the sea waves or roll on the green lawn. And as soon as you become angry and irritated, put it in front of you and “press the brakes. This technique will allow you to take control of emotions and prevent escalation of the conflict.
Third possibility: Imagine that you are being filmed by a video camera. First, take a few deep breaths and exhalations, and then pull yourself together and present yourself in the best possible way: adopt the correct and graceful posture, give your face a friendly expression, smile calmly – and set up a positive mood. Thus you will neutralize the internal anger and get rid of feelings of anger and irritation.